


Coward

by klained



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Depression, F/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 00:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1025284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klained/pseuds/klained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gold tries to cope after Belle dies in a fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coward

He scowled as he struggled to wheel the chair through his shop. Not his chair, though he is using for now. He doesn’t plan to for much longer, anyway. No point, not without… He falters, his grip on the wheel slipping when she comes unbidden to his mind.

“It’s your fault!” the Dark One screams from within him. “You deserve this! You did this!”

“No, I didn’t know, I didn’t know,” the coward can only whimper back.

“You promised! You said you’d protect her! You broke your deal! You were never worthy of her!”

“I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I’m so sorry, so sorry Belle, I didn’t know.”

He knows he’s broken down again, shouting at himself, only to answer in tears. This is the only place he has left, his little antique shop. With the lights off and door locked, this is the most privacy he will ever get. The pity on every face when he goes out only adds to his torment. So he’s locked himself here, in his shop, surrounded by worthless treasures. If he could bring himself to care, he would be surprised no one has come running to him for help for a month. An entire month since…

The tears come harder when he thinks of that day. The official cause was the chimney. Twenty-eight years of neglect, twenty-eight years of accumulation, of thinking it had already been checked and cleaned…

“But you didn’t have it checked, did you? You didn’t think about that! Didn’t think she’d want to read by the fire! Didn’t think she’d want to have a few things like home!”

“I didn’t know, didn’t know it was clogged, didn’t know it couldn’t vent properly.”

He had come home late, taking a long drive to clear his head. She didn’t deserve his frustrations on the Charmings taken out on her, so he’d driven around town. It was dark when he got home, but he could still see the smoke. He’d forgotten his cane as he’d limped inside, calling her name. The living room was nearly engulfed in flame. Cabinets of priceless curios, moments of past deals, roared with fire, glass shattering from the heat. The ceiling of the room groaned as the fire licked upwards.

The he’d seen her, stretched out before the hearth as if she was asleep. Moving on pure adrenaline, he’d gone to her, knelt to try and wake her. But she wouldn’t move. Knowing he had little time, he tried to drag her. His bad leg screamed in protest, finally waking to his overexertion. He kept pulling. The smoke burned his lungs, stung his eyes, but he had to get her out, get her safe. Sirens! They were safe, the fire department had come!

“But you weren’t paying attention, were you? Weren’t watching, weren’t paying attention. Old house you couldn’t be bothered to keep up! You think after twenty-eight years of being ignored, those beams would magically start looking after themselves?”

“I’m so sorry, Belle, I know the loose beams bothered you. I just wasn’t ready to share you, not with anyone. I’m sorry, so sorry they fell.”

“You’re lucky it was just your leg, you coward! Lucky it wasn’t your head!” His hands shook as he dug through the cupboards in the backroom. “Lucky you managed to live! That’s what you do, isn’t it coward? You live, while everyone around you dies! Milah, Bae, your garrison, Cora, Belle! Everyone around you, everything you touch, dies! You killed her! You did it!”

“I’m so sorry, Belle. I can’t do this without you.”

The shot was heard.


End file.
